Unreasonable Hospitality
“There is an ancient code of honor called: Besa - translating to the kind of hospitality that can restore one’s faith in humanity” - Exploring Albania, Europe’s Hidden Gem in the Balkans, Condé Nast Traveler
Will Guidara, one of my favorite restaurateurs, wrote a book called Unreasonable Hospitality, in which he describes his journey taking Eleven Madison Park from mediocre to the number one restaurant in the world by deploying his variations on hospitality. Guidara believes there’s nobility in service. He believes that unreasonable hospitality involves creating extraordinary experiences by giving people more than they expect while being absolutely unreasonable in your quest to take care of others. We believe in that, too.
We just wrapped a couple of days in Corfu and a week in Albania. I see unreasonable hospitality everywhere when I travel. Maybe it’s because there is vulnerability in being in a foreign place, maybe it’s because everything that seems beautiful is even more exaggerated when far from home. Our first day in Corfu was my 42nd birthday. We took a taxi to a faraway beach and when we went to pay, the driver asked for cash only, which we did not have. “No problem!” she said, “I will bring you home later, you can pay me then. What time shall I be here?” Unreasonable hospitality. The next day she drove us to the ferry, stopping first at the ticket station to let me buy tickets on my own with no bags or kids and then took us all the way into the terminal. Unreasonable hospitality. (She is the tiny person in the photo collage above. I am not 8 feet tall.) Unreasonable hospitality is everywhere if you choose to see the world that way. The shopkeeper at the store below our apartment in Albania messing with my kids. Every day they’d run down to greet him. He became their friend, even though they didn’t share the same language. The hotel worker who threw my kids in the air in the pool for more than an hour and promptly high-fived them when we returned the next day. The woman who gave me her phone to use as a hotspot so I could take an important work call when AT&T was failing me. The sweet people at the farmers market who fed me cheese, oil, fruit, and even brandy at 10 am because they didn’t have the language to explain to me what I was looking at. All unreasonable hospitality.
I believe that hospitality is a mindset. It is a way to choose to move in the world. It is being open. It is choosing to make eye contact and say hello to strangers. It is being loving with your actions and your mannerisms even when a common language is not shared. It is choosing to go out of your way for others for no other reason than because you care about how you make people feel.
I also hosted two virtual events while in Albania. At one point, a gentleman entered the Zoom room that I recognized. I asked if he’d done one of these before and he said “Yes! With you!” To which I replied “Thought so! It’s so wonderful to see you again.” I am always mesmerized by the community we’ve created online. Moments of shared connection, even on Zoom, where we remember each other and connect deeply even though we are not face to face, are so powerful. Unreasonable hospitality can happen online, too.
At Acquire, we put people at ease. We believe that hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. You see, when you care deeply for others, you put them at ease and you’re more likely to create moments that stand out, that they’ll remember. It’s also vital for setting the stage to build real relationships. It is not only the core of what we DO at Acquire, but it’s who we fundamentally ARE. We too believe there is nobility in service and taking care of others, in a deep and meaningful way. We have spent our lives being in service to others. It is quite simply what we DO.